I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize