I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
