i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
