So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
