Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
