Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
