But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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