6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
