I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
