it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
