i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
