Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
