come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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