Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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