shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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