I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
