I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
