Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
