Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
