I must be too annoying 4 u.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
