I heard we made out
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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