Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
