Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
