Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
