do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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