weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
