It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
