Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Life is so much better after having sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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