school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize