Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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