Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Couch. On fire.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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