10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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