I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
