I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
