Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
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