he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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