Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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