I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
