hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
