Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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