omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
