i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize