do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
