Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
