in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
