did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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