u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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