Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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