I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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