I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
