the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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