can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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