were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize