Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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