im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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