i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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