very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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