in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
