He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
