how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He has the fingertips of a God
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
