..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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