I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
